How to Choose Bridesmaids Dresses

“This above all; to thine own self be true.”

— Shakespeare

One of our lovely brides recently asked if I had any tips on how to choose the colors and styles of her bridesmaids dresses. As I was about to send her an email with several images for inspiration, I thought others might have the same question so opted for a full post instead. :)

With over 100 weddings in our back up files I had plenty to choose from. However, I will be the first to say up front; I am no style expert. I've always been a 'jeans and a tee shirt' kinda girl and if I could re-do my own bridal party today it would actually include 5 guys and 2 girls, so there's that. 

I am a FIRM believer that there is no "correct" way to do anything. If you want one person on each side or twenty - do it. If you want a mixture of girls, guys and transgendered friends on both sides - do it. If you want the girls in the most exquisite gold sequin gowns and the guys in the most expensive fitted tuxedo - do it. If you want them all in hiking gear because you plan to hike up to the top of a mountain for the ceremony - do it. Don't ever let yourself feel pressured by ALLLL the opinions you will definitely receive from caring friends and family.  

That said, here are a few ideas.

Winter weddings tend to include reds, hunter green, and black. 

Spring weddings use lighter colors. Think pastels and neutrals like blush, green and gray. 

Summer weddings tend to have bold blues, pinks and violet. 

And autumn brings out the oranges, browns, yellow and plum. 

Again, there is no such thing a a correct way. A.J. and I chose black in the middle of summer and it worked out JUST fine. As far as style of dresses, if consistency and uniformity are important to you, then you should just choose the dress you like the best and go with it. If not, I recommend choosing the color and length you want then allowing your girls to choose the top style that fits their form the best. 

Classic mixes. 

If you've got guys and girls on both sides, a nice way to tie everything together is having all of one party in one color (green dress and ties) and all of the other in a different one (pink dresses and tie). Or have everyone completely mixed up so you can't tell who goes with who and it doesn't matter because everyone loves everyone :)

Extras: 

Cover ups, jewelry, shoes, getting ready robes...the sky is the limit. Again, feel free to make them unique to the girl or exactly the same. If keeping it uniform I find couples like to purchase the matching items and give as a gift. (this goes for the fellas with socks and ties and cufflinks as well). 

Little People. 

Don't feel like you have to have a flower girl or ring barer. (They are often hard to wrangle throughout the long day anyway). If you want to though, they can make for cute photos. Well trained dogs are fun too. 

At the end of the day, these are just details. Just remember to enjoy the process, choose those you love the most to celebrate this time and plan to have a blast, it's going to be one of the most memorable days of your life!

Vendor Series: The Wedding Planner - Nouveau Events

“It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting.”

— Paulo Coelho

As a way to better serve our couples, over the next few months I will be highlighting and interviewing a few of our favorite wedding vendors as well as others in the community who directly impact the new life of the young couple. I want to ask them why they love what they do, some tips for couples navigating this new territory and pitfalls that can be avoided. 

The next lovely in this series is none other than Monica Noa from Nouveau Events. I met Monica and her team when we were still in the planning phase of Caity and Al's big day and she has blown me away from the start. She had every detail in place, the timeline set, and specific instructions to every member of the bridal party and every vendor on when and where to be. 

When the day arrived it went off without one hitch that I could see (and I'm usually well aware of anything that goes wrong because it affects my timeline). The timeline was so perfect, in fact, I have since started using it as my example timeline for all future weddings. Additionally she made sure either I or A.J. were ready and available before any major event happened so Caity and Al could have everything properly documented. Perfection. 

Vendors working together as a team to make sure the couple is taken care of makes me SO happy. (You'd be surprised how often it's not the case) All of these ladies are so professional and great at what they do, it makes the whole day better for everyone...especially the lucky couple. Here are a few of the questions I asked Monica to help you decide whether Nouveau is right fit for you:

Q: How many weddings/events would you say you've planned since you started?

A: Since we started in 2011, we have done well over 100 weddings and are looking forward to the weddings we have scheduled for the 2017 season.

Q: How do you manage to keep up with so many unique details at a wedding? Especially when you have multiple events in the same month? 

A: I pride myself on organization and proper planning. We work with each couple leading up to the day and for many of our couples we are a part of their entire planning process. We treat each wedding as if it is our only one for the month and work hard to make sure it is logistically sound and the details are clear. 

Q: What parts of the planning do you delegate to your team and what do you do yourself?

A: Day of Coordination and event management on the day is delegated to my team. My lead coordinators have their own schedule of events. They are responsible for coordination in addition to the Full-Service events we do each year.  I am the Principal Planner and coordinator at Nouveau Events so I personally plan all Full-Service events and oversee any additional ones. 

Q: What is the difference between a day of coordinator and a full-service wedding planner?

A: A full-Service wedding planner works with the couple during their entire planning process. We guide, plan, design and coordinate the day. Day of Coordination is for couples who have planned their entire wedding but need to hand it over to a professional to coordinate vendors, timeline, logistics and event management. This ensures that their wedding day runs according to plan. 

Q: Why is it important for a couple to have a planner for the wedding when they can do a lot themselves and have family help with the rest?

A: You Shouldn’t be the Ref

 Your wedding will be one of the best days of your life, but the time leading up to it can be very stressful! A wedding brings two families together and that can get complicated. Everyone has different ideas, and it can get confusing. That’s where we come in. You might need a buffer, someone to present ideas as an unbiased and well-intended third party. Often that is exactly what you need to prevent an argument. When I am present, both through the planning process and on the wedding day, responsibilities/ burdens are lifted from your family. That means they can simply be guests and enjoy the moment.

Or the Point of Contact

On average, a single wedding has over 22 different vendors. Add in your wedding party and all the guests, and you’ll have countless people to coordinate, instruct, and answer questions for. I will act as your sole “go-to” girl, relieving you of policing pressures. From the very beginning or on your special day, you’ll be left to bask in the moment, while I handle the fuss and chaos.

You Can’t Control Chaos

Speaking of chaos – you can’t control it. But I can! I can take control when something goes wrong (and something always goes wrong) and get it taken care of before you even hear about it. Instead of dealing with the headache of a late floral delivery or a rogue aunt, you should be focusing on your new life as a Mrs. I’ll handle the chaos.

You are the Boss

You and your fiancé, that is. Not the caterer, the venue, or the floral designer. I make sure it stays that way. I will know your dreams and vision, using it as a guide for all elements coming together. I will know what you mean when you say vintage. Some brides mean shabby chic, some mean rustic – I’ll know exactly what you mean, and make sure your vendors know too. Your vision is what matters, and it is what we will focus on.

Q: On average, how many phone calls/emails/meetings to you have to set up/organize for one wedding?

A: I respond to probably 150-200 emails a week and let's not think about how many during wedding season!

Q: Why do couples need a coordinator on their actual wedding day?

A: Speak with any past bride, who gave herself the gift of a wedding planner and you’ll hear a resounding theme: they were able to fully relax on their day, enjoy the moment and maximize their fun. Whether you need a planner to help you every step of the way or simply the weekend of your wedding, you do need someone to be there for you. Having a planner allows you to be present at your own affair, acting as a guest, rather than a host. And in my humble opinion, this is the single greatest blessing in disguise!

Q: What brings you the most joy at a wedding and brings you back for more week after week?

A: What brings me the most joy is the satisfaction of know that my couples have the luxury of enjoying their wedding, seeing their vision met or exceeded and being able to be present in the moment. The day goes by SO FAST and you want to be able to take it all in! 

As you can see, Monica and her team are invaluable when it comes to your big day. We had a planner for our wedding 11 years ago and I absolutely could not have done it without her. I do not see how anyone is able to enjoy their day when they're busy dealing with last minute details themselves. Trust me, you won't regret hiring Nouveau Events to make your day happen exactly as you envision it. 

Vendor Series - The Venue - The Oaks at Salem

“Too much of a good thing can be wonderful”

— Mae West

As a way to better serve our couples, over the next few months I will be highlighting and interviewing a few of our favorite wedding vendors as well as others in the community who directly impact the new life of the young couple. I want to ask them why they love what they do, some tips for couples navigating this new territory and pitfalls that can be avoided. 

This week I'd like to highlight The Oaks at Salem in Apex. Oh my goodness. I have worked with so many venues in the area, and I am telling you, no one has it all together quite like The Oaks. We are talking a GORGEOUS white house, beautiful lake, dreamy barn complete with giant oak trees and a plethora of other hidden gems on their 11 acre estate. Additionally they provide both the ceremony and reception space so your guests don't have to drive around, indoor and outdoor options depending on the weather, valet parking so guests don't have to hike up to their car in the field, full on-site coordination (which I'll get into in a second), and the most perfect getting ready spaces you've ever seen.

Now, I've seen other beautiful venues, but April has intentionally laid everything out with your memories in mind. Not just the beautiful backdrops, but very intentional natural window light in the bridal suite, neutral walls, and private areas both indoor and out for the first look and bridal party photos. These details make such a big difference in your final images, as well as the flow of photography on the big day.  

If the grounds themselves weren't enough, they have THE BEST on-site coordinators around. Veni, Joslin, Tina and Katie go out of their way to make sure the day is flawless. They even hold vendor meetings with the couple and/or parents a month before the wedding to ensure everyone is on the same page and working as a team to make the couples' dreams a reality. They are so good at what they do. Vendors working together as a team to make sure the couple is taken care of makes me SO happy. (You'd be surprised how often it's not the case)

Here's a few questions we discussed to help you navigate the venue world:

How many weddings have been hosted at the Oaks? 

We have hosted over 300 successful weddings. 

Why is it important for a couple to choose a venue with everything in one location? 

Our venue provides a seamless experience for couples looking to host both ceremony and reception with us, or for couples looking to have their ceremony off-site.  Our Oaks Coordinators create comprehensive timelines that cover all the moving parts!

What are some of the biggest hurdles couples face when choosing a venue? 

Couples face hurdles deciding between their top choice venues, and often focus only on aesthetics. In choosing a venue, couples should compare the venues apples to apples. This includes factoring in their inclusions, weather contingency plans, organization, and the overall flow of the space. We strive to educate potential couples and provide them with all the information they need to make a well informed decision.

How does your team manage to keep up with so many unique details at each wedding, especially when you have multiple events in the same month? 

Our team has a very organized system in place so that we can keep up with all the details! Upon booking, clients are assigned a lead coordinator that they correspond with via email.  Using email for communication is very convenient for the client, generates a fast response from us, and helps us keep all of the planning details documented in one place. The lead coordinator organizes an on-site meeting with the client and their vendors before the wedding to create a timeline and layout for the big day.  Every wedding is unique and these meetings allow us to discuss and account for all of those fine details. In addition to an on-site lead coordinator, every couple is also assigned an assistant coordinator for the day of the wedding.  The timeline and layout are a life source for us and all of the vendors on the day of the wedding, they include reminders and detailed notes down to the minute! 

What brings your team the most joy at a wedding and makes you want to host them week after week? 

We love to see the life-long memories being made and the abundance of love and happiness. It is a pleasure to be a part of these momentous occasions!

As you can see, The Oaks at Salem is a premier wedding venue that is capable of covering everything you could need. Trust me, you won't regret choosing them to make your day happen exactly as you envision it! To see my most recent wedding there, check out Alaria and Drew's blog post. 

Vendor Series - The DJ & Videographer - Damien Maass

“What I love most about this crazy life is the adventure of it.”

— Juliette Binoche

As a way to better serve our couples, over the next few months I will be highlighting and interviewing a few of our favorite wedding vendors as well as others in the community who directly impact the new life of the young couple. I want to ask them why they love what they do, some tips for couples navigating this new territory and pitfalls that can be avoided. 

This week I want to highlight one of my favorite humans on the planet. Damien and I met at a Bat Mitzvah two years ago and it's been quite the adventure ever since. He is one of the most genuine, kind, and cheerful people I've ever had the pleasure of working with. He never has a harsh word for another vendor or a client, he's easy to work with; if I want to try something a little crazy he's totally down whether he's DJing or holding the camera. He has the same mission I do...to work well together so we can serve the clients better. 

Patrick and Madi are part of his video team and are equally amazing to work with. Professional, lighthearted and so very talented. 

Once, we were doing a Bar Mitzvah together and one of my off camera flash batteries died right as Damien was getting ready to start the Hora dance... he and I locked eyes and he saw the panic in mine. Without a second's hesitation he backtracked and announced it would actually start in just a second then asked me what I needed. He gave me time to swap the batteries out and get back in place so they were able to get the best photos. Being a videographer too he is so knowledgable about everything the photographer needs and goes out of his way to accommodate, which only helps to serve our clients better. I would have him at every wedding I shoot if I could. 

Here are just a few of the questions I asked about how he works and what couples need to know, he is always ready and willing to answer any and every question you may have though, just contact him on his website here. 

Q: How do you manage to DJ and Video at the same time at a wedding? What do you delegate to your team and what do you do yourself?

A: A lot of planning goes into a wedding as you know and when we are providing both DJ & Video services great teamwork is essential alongside all the planning. There are three main parts to the wedding day when we provide both services; Bridal Party prep, Ceremony and the Reception. I will shoot for the first part of the day before transitioning into a DJ and my two other videographers will take over full time from that point. It is very seamless and I am lucky to have an amazing team in place. Two of our team members are also FAA licensed drone pilots for our aerial videography. We work at our craft constantly to ensure things happen, as they should on the wedding day.

Q: Why is it important for a couple to have a cinematographer capture their wedding when they already have a photographer?

A: It’s funny but I hear it all the time from married couples who chose not to have one that they regret not having a wedding video. There is so much the couple will miss during the day. Photos & video tell the same story but in a different way and both if are done well, they are amazing keepsakes. A great video becomes something that you’ll watch over and over initially and then every anniversary you’ll get to revisit that incredible day in a special way. This isn’t your parent’s wedding video anymore either. We specialize in short-form wedding films, which means we focus on making amazing cinema style productions that you’ll want to watch over and over again. We use only the best possible cameras & lenses along with real storytelling techniques in our editing to make our films unique to whatever event we are filming.

Q: What do you think a couple will regret the most by not having a cinematographer?

A: So much of the wedding day will be a blur especially with everything that is going on so fast and a great wedding video can bring that amazing day back to life. To me there is nothing like capturing the emotion of day with not only video but with the actual audio. To hear the vows, people laughing, to see all the places you couldn’t be, it just brings the entire day to life in a fun, emotional and entertaining way.

Q: What are some of the biggest hurdles couples face when choosing a DJ that fits their unique style?

A: First and foremost: is this someone I want to work with on one of the most important days of my life! Will they listen to my detailed requests, can I choose my own music, do they work well with other vendors, are they professional sounding, do they use top sound equipment, etc. Every couple and wedding day is different and a big part of my job to be really good at listening to what couples want or don’t want. We take into account their venue, guest list, music tastes and what kind of party flow they want. We want to make sure that the reception is a blast with the music they want to hear and done in a style that fits in, without being over the top.

Q: What do you do to ensure that you play music the couple will love as well as the mixed crowd of guests attending?

A: One thing that experience does is give you the ability to read a crowd quickly, use the couple’s requests along with what you know will work to keep the dance floor popping! We have two very helpful online wedding planners that couples can use before the wedding to select music and plan the reception details. We try to stay as organized as we can so things come off as they should. These are things we go over with couple’s beforehand so they are comfortable and can look forward to having a great time. Guests requests are also important; and as long as those songs go with the energy on the floor I am all for it.

Q: What do you do if you get a crowd that just doesn't seem to want to dance? 

A: Great question and again this is an area where experience and honing your craft make a big difference. Whether it’s by playing a really familiar fun song, one of the many interactive fun dances, bridal party requests or even a great slow song to get the floor packed. Once you got people up build on it and keep it going!

Q: What brings you the most joy at a wedding and brings you back for more week after week?

A: Its kind of cliché but this is a real passion for me. I hosted a morning show on radio for several years as well as acting, doing voiceovers but there nothing like a live event. And what’s better than being a part of a celebration? Seeing how happy these couples are and how much fun they are having during their wedding day is incredible and I feel so lucky to be doing this for a living. We started providing the wedding video part of the business about 5 years ago and that just opened up a whole new level of excitement and fun. I truly look at each event we do as unique and different. It’s a major reason why I decided to keep the business small so we can give each wedding the attention that it deserves. I love it!

I hope you find this helpful and you see why I give Damien all the stars! He, Madi and Patrick are so great to work with and I know they won't disappoint. I also wanted to include one of his highlights from the most recent wedding we all did together, enjoy!

The Best Decision You Can Make Before the Wedding Day

“Wedding vows are not a declaration of present love but a mutually binding promise of future love.”

— Tim Keller

With such a popular response from the last week's post about healthy choices to make before the wedding, I decided to expand on the most important one. After all, your future spouse loves you just as you are and the people coming to celebrate your love do too. All the health conscious choices that give you clearer skin, a thinner waist or brighter smile won't guarantee that your marriage will stand the test of time and trials. 

A.J. and I have offered pre-marital counseling to several couples over the years, some while we were only a year into it ourselves, but it's something we knew we would do before we even walked down the aisle. I'm not sure how to explain it, we just get each other. We trust each other completely and have learned excellent communication skills over the years from our own marriage trials as well as owning different businesses together, attending 7 years of school (almost all the same classes) together, and leading a small church together.

Poor communication or lack of communication, we would insist, is the number one reason marriages (and really any relationships) fall apart. There may ultimately be financial issues, adultery, or abuse but it all stems from communication. We believe that communication needs to begin before you walk down the aisle and preferably even before your "just said yes" moment. 

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There are several questions that should at least be discussed before you agree to give your lives to each other. Questions that are obvious and questions that are not so obvious that can be surprisingly detrimental. I'll expand on two I mentioned last week:

Holidays.

An example of a not-so obvious one is holidays. When you're dating and so in love you can't bare the thoughts of being separated for more than a minute, holidays are no problem. Both your families "understand" and are more than willing to accommodate the extra person, or allow their son or daughter to be with their love this year...after all, they'll probably be getting married. Even your first married holiday season together is understandable, everyone is willing to let you do your thing. But after that, lifelong expectations, traditions and rituals come into play and if your families are both unwilling to budge, the pull can be catastrophic. Add long distance and grandchildren to that mix and it's over.

UNLESS you've been communicating well all along the way. There is no right answer; you have to do what works for you, but you need to communicate with each other what you want individually and what you're willing to budge on, then communicate that clearly and sincerely to your families. Being able to do this before the big day makes the transition that much smoother. 

Children.

Most couples broach the topic while they're still dating. One wants 3 kids, one thinks they want 1, but they assume they'll figure it out along the way. They say "I do." All of the sudden the one who wanted 3 realizes they're ready to begin trying right away, "why not?" they ask, "it'd be fun to still be young as the kids grow up." Panicked, the one who "thinks" they wanted 1 suddenly isn't so sure. "Right now? Like, now? I thought we'd wait at least 5 years before we got there...what about our jobs? What about money? What about living our lives while we're still young?" Reluctantly they agree to start trying. Five years, a surgery, ovulation regimens and fertility pills later, it's actually not possible. Now what? Devastated, do we foster? Adopt? Locally? Over seas? How will we pay for that? Four failed adoptions after that you find yourselves in the middle of mine and A.J.'s story. :)

If we had not discussed from the very beginning whether or not we'd be willing to adopt, he might have second guessed marrying me when we discovered we couldn't have our own. I was open from the beginning that my "system" was a little tricky, so we had discussed that it might be a possibility. He was open from the very beginning that he really wanted 3 kids. Had I not known that I would have been totally freaked out when he wanted to start trying right away, but I knew his heart and I knew he'd make a great dad. I was terrified, but I knew we'd figure it out together. Eleven years later we're still figuring it out. I've changed my mind a dozen times and he's been the most patient husband anyone could ever hope for; I don't deserve him. For now we have an awesome pup and more than a couple businesses to run so we're content, but it's important to keep the communication open.

These are just two of the questions we go over when we're sitting in front of a couple and you can see how complicated they alone can be. There are dozens of things to consider. You owe yourselves and your marriage a fighting chance. Pre-marital counseling isn't going to solve all your problems, it doesn't make it divorce-proof, but it definitely shows you the value of communication and what you can accomplish together if you're willing to put in the work and stay humble. 

Many officiants require it as a part of their services, most at least offer it, you should definitely choose it if you get the chance. It's worth every penny. After all, you're spending thousands of dollars on this one day of your marriage, if it falls apart in 2 years those thousands were a total waste. If you're officiant doesn't offer it, talk to me, I'll be happy to make some recommendations.

7 Healthy Choices to Make Before the Big Day

“Smile, breathe and go slowly”

— Thich Nhat Hanh

I frequently get asked what can be done to cut off a few pounds, make teeth whiter or reduce darkness under the eyes when it comes to photos for the wedding day. Everyone hopes I have a magic photoshop tool, and the truth is, yes, for the most part I can "fix" all those things in post processing. However, I find people feel better when they know they didn't need to be photoshopped because they looked and felt great right out of camera. 

That said, as someone who is NOT a doctor, but IS fairly health conscious and has years of experience making people feel better about themselves, I have a few go to tips I like to offer my couples and families who are about to grace my lens. 

Drink ALL the Water.  I know, I know. If you're an avid hot beverage drinker like myself or just really enjoy a good fizziness in your cup, water can be a little difficult to stomach. BUT I am telling you, this is THE NUMBER ONE thing you can do to start feeling better and looking the way you want to. So throw some citrus or cucumber in it if you have to and just do it. The amount per day is different for everyone, you can measure the ounces if you like but I just try to drink at least one glass every hour. This one is so important I'm giving it sub points.

• Water is the fastest way to get rid of dark circles under your eyes. (Without all the smoke and mirrors of make up and photoshop)
• This much water through the day makes you feel fuller so you don't eat as much. If weight loss is on your agenda for the big day, this will be super helpful. (Anytime I start craving a snack I first drink a FULL glass of water. If I'm still hungry, I'll eat the snack, but most of the time I was just thirsty)
• Water flushes toxins from your body making your skin clearer and acne-free on your big day. 
• One of the first signs of dehydration is fatigue. Drink more water and you'll be more alert through the day. This is especially important if you plan to drink a lot of alcohol in celebration the week leading up to and during the wedding day. Alcohol dehydrates you almost instantly causing blurriness and headaches etc... water before, during, and after alcohol helps immensely with hangover. 
• Water flushes out "debris" from your meals throughout the day, making your teeth whiter and reducing bad breath, making you extremely kissable for that first official smooch.

There are apps you can get on your phone to remind you to drink once every hour if you find that helpful, I used Waterlogged until it became a habit and now I don't need it. 

Citrus for Clear Skin. Tons of studies show that Vitamin C is essential for collagen in your body, this makes the skin more "elastic-y" and younger looking. (Skin bounces back when stretched to smile... your body naturally has plenty when your young but it depletes as your get older making the skin not bounce back...causing wrinkles) It's also highly recommended when you're sick and need an immune system boost. So either take a supplement or add an orange or two (not juice) to your breakfast. 

Coconut Oil for Skin, Hair and Teeth. Similarly coconut oil has tons of antioxidants that help heal the skin. It's great for sun burn, dry skin rashes from winter weather and even inflammation from foods that cause it. (Gluten causes my skin to flare, coconut oil calms it down)

I also put it directly on the tips of my hair at night to heal any damage on the ends. (I've been bleaching and dying my hair for 8 years and it is still super healthy) I only do it at night because it does make your hair oily.

Coconut oil is great for your teeth, I find THIS VIDEO on Oil Pulling to be better at explaining it than I can. 

Yoga. I'll be honest, I used to laugh at yoga. It didn't seem like a "real" exercise and was only for people who "couldn't handle" sports or weight lifting. I was terribly terribly wrong. Not only can yoga be extremely difficult, but it makes you feel amazing after. The intentional breathing calms the heart, the focus on stretching clears the mind, the poses flex and stretch muscles making you stronger and more flexible. It's a great way to get you moving in the morning or unwind at the end of a stressful day. This can be especially helpful in the month leading up to the wedding. 

You knew it would be here... Diet and Exercise. Yep. I'm not about to tell you what is best for you, I'm not your doctor or coach, but if your health allows, you should try different types of exercise to see what fits your schedule, your abilities and your enjoyment. You might enjoy lifting weights in a gym or running, but a lot of people don't. If you don't, then seek out something fun just to be moving. Bike riding, ultimate frisbee, hiking, even choosing to walk up the stairs instead of taking the elevator everyday will make a difference. If you want specific coaching on what would be best for your lifestyle, I'd love to refer you to my favorite coaches at Iron Tribe. They'll be happy to whip you into shape before you have to fit into the dress.

As for diet, I personally choose Paleo about 75% of the time but I know that's not for everyone. Just focus on eating whole (real) foods and limiting junk that was made by a machine or processed to the point of no return. Look at the label, if you can't pronounce it, don't eat it. Just get 75% of your foods from the produce and/or refrigerated sections. I'm telling you, you will be astounded by your new energy levels, your clearer skin, your drop in weight and bloating, and how much fuller you feel - decreasing the need to snack. 

Pre-marital Counseling. I cannot stress this one enough. One of the healthiest things you can do for your marriage is seek a pre-marriage counselor who can meet with both of you a couple times to help you work through some pre-existing expectations of what marriage will be. This can be your officiant but it doesn't have to be. Sometimes close friends who have a healthy marriage can be great, just take them out to dinner and ask all the questions. Great things to think through include children (what if you can't have them?), finances (will you have a budget?), holidays (which family will you visit each holiday), gifts (how much money do you spend on each other, family and friends), date nights, pets, religion, you name it, there are so many things to think through and considering them before you ever walk down the aisle will make a huge impact on how you deal with them when they actually arise later.  

Don't Forget Your Smile! At the end of the day the little details of how you look are not that important. Marylin Monroe used to say "A smile is the best make up a girl can wear." I couldn't agree more. Capturing your joy and excitement on this day is the most important thing to me, but if helping you look your best gives you more joy, I'm happy to do so. You are there to celebrate your love and mark the beginning of your most epic adventure yet. Soak it all in, enjoy the process and smile! Let me worry about the rest.

Best of 2016 Weddings and Engagements

“What greater thing is there for human souls than to feel that they are joined for life – to be with each other in silent unspeakable memories.”

— George Eliot

After racing through the busiest season of my career followed by an intense family roller coaster of love, pain, joy, sorrow, death and new life, I am actually pretty excited to coast into this first week of the new year with little more to do than reflect on what has been good, what needs improvement and dream of all that might be in 2017. 

A.J. and I have had the incredible joy of meeting new couples whose love overflows for each other and makes our own love stronger from witnessing it. It never gets old. This will be my tenth year capturing love and memories for couples, and the lover-of-new-things within me thought I'd be tired of it by now.  But I can say with all the honesty I possess, I cannot get enough. 

When Jon teared up watching his beloved Abbie walk toward him in all her radiance, my heart exploded and I loved them both even more. When Heather and her dad, Bryan, shared a father-daughter first look through tears, light teasing and perfect joy I could barely see through my own tears to even capture the moment. When Alaria and Drew found themselves at the very end of the night surrounded by all their beloved friends whom they rarely got to see due to distance and the trajectory of their future I burst with happiness for them.

Watching our couples revel in each moment and knowing that they trusted us to capture each one for a lifetime of joyful memories brings me more joy than I know how to put properly into words. I'm excited to see who is going to walk into our path this year and to hear all the love stories that will undoubtedly make our own love continue to grow. 

Thank you for an incredible year!

Alaria and Drew - The Oaks at Salem Wedding, Apex, NC

“After all this time? ~ Always.”

— Dumbledore to Severus

Oh my goodness, I knew I loved these two before I even met them just by hearing the tiniest snippet of their story which can be summed up pretty well with in their adorable hashtag #agypsyandasoldierwedding 

They met in 5th grade, were friends all through high school, fell in love in college and the rest is history. Most of their bridal party were even friends from all the school years together. They chose to be married at my favorite wedding venue in the Raleigh area, The Oaks at Salem. A gorgeous white house surrounded by 11 acres of land, trees and a beautiful lake. Veni is an amazingly organized coordinator and I adore working with her. Their team is just the best! 

You are going to love these details:

First of all, Alaria's bouquet was wrapped in a piece of her mother's wedding dress, giving it a timeless feel. For the unity portion of the ceremony Alaria held a vase of water while Drew placed a single rose in it: the rose symbolizing love while the water symbolized everything needed to make the love grow. So beautiful. 

They also chose to have a Ring Warming Ceremony. As every guest entered the space they placed the rings in their hands and wished good tidings and blessings on their marriage. Alaria happens to be a lover of words and reading, so they brought a beautiful typewriter for guests to type out their congratulatory notes on, something they'll be able to read throughout their marriage as they need it. 

Damien of course rocked the party with his amazing DJ skills, and he and his team will have an incredible cinema story up soon, I'll be sure to add the link here as soon as it's ready. Beau blew everyone away with his incredible menu and it was a night to be remembered for all. 

You guys, I was truly overwhelmed with all the beauty. Of course you were gorgeous, but your spirits were beautiful and the love brought by your many friends and family just surrounded the whole day with something special. Thank you for letting me be a part of your day, I hope you enjoy reliving it with a few of my favorite images. 

Being huge Harry Potter fans, they had the groomsmen take the personality quiz on Pottermore and had them wear socks representing their house! So cute! (I *might* have also taken the quiz out of curiosity, discovering that I'd be a Gryffindor...in case you were wondering) ;)

Vendors:

Photography: Cynthia Viola

Venue/Coordinator: Veni at The Oaks at Salem

Videographer: Damien Maass

DJ: Damien Maass

Hair and Make-up: Kristi Martinson at WINK

Dress: Bridal Boutique of NC

Groom/Groomsmen attire: Egara by Men's Warehouse

Rings: designed and custom made by Samantha Laddin at Green Lake Jewelry, Seattle

Bride's Shoes: Ophelia by Vince Camuto

Groom's Shoes: Heritage by Joseph Abboud

Groommen's Socks: Harry Potter Hogwarts houses socks :)

Officiant: Darren Granniss 

Perfume: Armani Code for her

Cologne: John Varvatos Vintage

Catering: Beau Catering

Florist: Teacup Floral

Cake and pies: Laura at Confectionate Cakes

Truffles: Chocolate Smiles

Get away car: Dave's Classic Cars

Invitations: Wedding Paper Divas

First Dance: Work Song by Hozier

Haylee and Austin - The Mill Room Wedding, Wake Forest, NC

“Let me share this whole new world with you.”

— Aladdin

Haylee and Austin might be the youngest couple whose wedding I've had the honor of capturing, but that makes them no less in love. (In fact, A.J. and I were actually a little younger). When you know you've found the one, you just know.

Watching two high school sweethearts like Austin and Haylee commit to loving each other for the rest of their lives is such a beautiful thing. The way he made her laugh during their perfect first look at Joyner Park, the way she made him light up on the Mill Room dance floor even though he doesn't typically enjoy dancing, and the way both their families came together to celebrate their love and their story was wonderful.

Something fun about their big day was the subtle hints of Disney everywhere. Haylee is a huge fan of all things Disney so they both wore yellow shoes to match Mickey and Minnie's, they used red and yellow flowers, danced to Disney music, had a Disney cake and even a tiny Minnie Mouse. 

Congratulations you two! I hope you enjoy this week, these images, and this whole new season of life!  

Vendors:

Photography: Cynthia Viola

Venue: The Millroom, Wake Forest

Stylist: Stephanie Woodworth from Studio B 

Florist: Brandi's Botanicals, Youngsville

Wedding Coordinator: Shannon Gamble

DJ: DJ Mass Appeal 

Cake: Kristina at Love Cake 

Catering: Papa Jack's Catering 

Favors: Kristi's Tasty Treats

Heather and Adam - All Saints Chapel Wedding, Raleigh, NC

“Could never have dreamed that we’d find enough
On our very first date”

— Josh Walker

Ok, so do you want to hear the sweetest thing ever? Heather and Adam were sharing the story of how they fell in love with Adam's brother-in-law Josh and he joked that there was a song in there somewhere. After all, Adam had pursued her at her job for a long time, and their first date was at a cute little wooden playground where they ended up talking for hours through the night falling in love along the way. Then Josh actually wrote them a song about their first date and then sang it for their first dance. And I die from cuteness overload. 

All Saints Chapel, built in 1875, was just perfect for them. It has this classic and timeless feel to it due to its beauty and having Oakwood Cemetery out the front door adds an element of history that really suits their personalities. I love that not only was Heather "ok" with doing the first look in the graveyard but when I said I could make it not look like a graveyard with my angle she said she really wanted the graveyard in the photos! The coolest bride ever. 

Heather and Adam also share a mutual love of gaming. They even brought their gaming controllers to the engagement shoot which was so fun, and in his first words in his vows Adam talked about having a player number 2 for life - bringing a knowing laugher from everyone in the room and a huge smile to Heather's face. They are just a perfect match. 

I hope you guys enjoy reliving the day as much as I did! Here are a few favorites!

We all know how much I love first looks. They just make the day so seamless and allow so many emotions to be had in private with only your love. However, I am also quite partial to father-daughter first looks. Especially when they have as sweet a relationship as these two.. Oh my goodness, I was just a pile of mush after this moment. Brian was being his usual self, full of jokes and trying keep it cool, but I think it just made Heather realize she adored him that much more. Bring on the Kleenexes!

Photography: Cynthia Viola

Venue/On-site Coordinator: Diane at All Saints Chapel

Dress: David's Bridal

Groom's attire: Men's Warehouse

Rings: Ultimate Concepts by Brad Dingler

Flowers/Coordinator:Jane at The Wedding Woman

DJ: Todd Moody

Cake: Once in a Blue Moon Bakery

Caterer: Empire Eats Catering

Rehearsal Dinner: Gravy 

Hair: Lauren Meyers Stevens

Make Up: Melinda Ewbank

Invitations: Made by groom :)

Honeymoon: Washington D.C.

Caity and Al - Caffe Luna Wedding - Raleigh, NC

“All of me loves all of you”

— John Legend

These two.

Somewhere between Long Island and Wilson, NC these two romanced each other over a good meal and are happily here today, dedicating the rest of their lives to each other and little Gabe. 

They just seem to have this way with each other where they don't need to say much, Caity just giggles (which Al loves) and they give each other a look and you know they mean it. 

First looks are always my favorite part of any wedding, but you guys, Caity decided to include Gabe in the first look as well and he was absolutely precious! As Al stood there in the Marriott hallway anticipating his beautiful bride, little Gabe had to go ahead and get a sneak peek and we were, of course, SO ok with that. He just loves his mommy.

Before the big day Caity asked Gabe why she and Al were getting married and he not only said it's because they love each other (which he repeated during the middle of the ceremony) but he also said "because we want to be safe." Is that not the sweetest response ever!?! He just knows it's good. 

In lieu of wedding favors, I love that Caity and Al made a donation to the Boys and Girls Club of Wake Forest in honor of their guests. It just makes it so special. The fact that they had Monica and her incredible team at Nouveau Events design and coordinate the day at Caffe Luna was just icing on the cake. I don't think I've ever seen a wedding so completely flawless from start to finish. 

Hope you guys have as much fun reliving your perfect day as I did! Here's a few favorites!

The Vendor Team:

Photography: Cynthia and A.J. Viola

Venue/Catering: Caffe Luna

Wedding Coordinator: Monica at Nouveau Events

Officiant: Marianne Dotson

DJ: DJ Supreme 

Stylist/Make Up: Cori Lee from Atomic Salon 

Florist: Doug at Purple Poppy Florist, Wake Forest

Bridal Suite: Marriott City Center

Rings: Neil Lane, Kay Jewlers

Cake: Publix

Limo: A Formal Affair

10 Reasons Why a Second Shooter is Priceless

“I’m so happy I could bounce! ”

— Tigger

You guys! A.J. is going to start shooting weddings with me again!! 

It's been a long journey figuring out what each of us want to do with our lives, our careers, and our hobbies. Our marriage began down a very different path...think large churches, rambunctious youth groups, tag team preaching and seminary. 

When photography first began as a fun hobby for us, we did it together. It didn't even occur to us to do it any other way, as we had always done every job up to that point together. As the path pulled A.J. toward the coffee world though, it pulled me deeper into art and photography. Helping each other was not feasible at the time because it was spreading us both too thin and hurting our marriage so we made the tough call that for the first time in 13 years we'd have different careers. That. That was difficult. Transitioning from seeing your love 24 hours a day to only a few exhausted hours in the evening took it's toll. 

Fortunately it was only for a season. I am happy to announce that all 2017 weddings will also include A.J.! *happy dance* (If any currently booked couples want to add him to their package just shoot me a message) :)

Let's use a few examples from Laura and Danny's Angus Barn Wedding a couple years ago to illustrate 10 reasons why a second shooter is priceless: 

1. While I am capable of capturing the vast majority of the people and details at a wedding when I shoot solo; things are missed. I always work my butt off and capture as much as humanly possible, but I am only one person and can only be in one room at a time capturing one angle at a time. 

2. When you choose to have a second shooter it allows them to capture the close up while I get the wide shot, or vice versa. 

3. With three locations to shoot, I didn't have to worry about what Danny was doing half way across the city, AJ took care of the guys while I took care of the ladies. 

4. A second shooter is able to get the expression on the groom's face while I capture the bride tearing up on her father's arm. 

5. When I'm directing the bridal party into their next pose he's able to notice that the bride's veil has gotten caught in her hair and can help her adjust it.

6. He gets the natural light while I get the silhouette or vice versa.

7. He can get the cute flower girl tickling the groom while I'm focused on the bride and her girls. Or the party from the inside while I'm outside.

 8. If one of the off camera flash batteries dies during the first dance, he can change them while I continue shooting and precious moments are not missed.

9. One of us can get the coming and other other going of the sparkler run! Since you can't easily repeat this moment, it's especially helpful to have two angles. 

10. Also...have you met this guy?? He is a total crack up. While I'm joyful and fun, if I try to crack a joke, the bridal party usually just looks confused. AJ can simply open his mouth and these witty and hilarious things just come out without ANY effort! I mean he can get the groomsmen rolling faster than the alcohol. That is priceless if you ask me. 

Finally, it's just better for my sanity. While I thrive under pressure making me perfect for weddings, it's just nice to know that your love has got your back. That after 13 years together I can give him a certain look and he knows that I mean to look over his left shoulder and grab the cute ring bearer trying to catch a frog. I think you'll agree...we make a good team. :)

How to care for your People before the Wedding

“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted”

— Aesop

Entering into the busiest season of your life can be daunting.

It seems like all my wedding couples right now are not only planning their wedding, but they're working full time jobs, they've just started graduate school, they're caring for their small children, they've just moved into a new home, or they're serving in the military all on top of figuring out what this whole new marriage dynamic is going to look like when it comes to bills and having a puppy and in-laws and responsibilities. 

It can really be so much. I've been there as a bride, I've been there as a bridesmaid, as a sister, as a best friend, as a pre-marital counselor and a photographer. I have seen over and over how much the stress can build up for months and explode at the worst possible moment on the big day.

Fortunately most couples also have a team of people who stand beside them to help carry the weight. Parents and college roommates and siblings and coworkers who work long hours in the weeks leading up helping you address invites, finish DIY projects, tell you how fabulous you look in every dress your try on, throw you epic bachelor parties, trudge through the mud to keep your dress clean, pray fervently for your marriage and bring you orange juice and cough medicine when you find yourself sick in the midst of it all.

This post is to remind you to care for them in return. It's easy to get overwhelmed and take out your frustrations on the people you know will forgive you, but don't take the easy road. Take the extra 10 seconds to breathe deeply before you say a harsh word and don't let yourself have regrets for taking advantage of the people you care for most. At the end of the day no one will remember if all the chair bows were tied perfectly, they'll remember how you treated them when you were stressed. So take some time today to write them a note or give them a hug. They'll love you forever. 

Sarah Jane and Taylor - Lifepointe Church Wedding, Raleigh, NC

“Happiness, not in another place, but this place. Not for another hour, but this hour.”

— Walt Whitman

Taylor and Sarah Jane met just a couple years ago while attending church together. They both played in the band and kept running into each other at practices. They worked well together in that setting and it wasn't long before they found themselves hanging out longer after practice and later with other friends. Before they knew it, they were in love and the rest is history. 

As their pastor, Joel, recalled during the ceremony, they had both thought of each other as opposites when they met. He thought she was a little loud and she thought he was a little quite. This was not a problem, Joel pointed out though, because as musicians they could appreciate the dynamic both forces could make in a song. Without the forte' we couldn't understand the quiet moments and without the piano we couldn't realize just how resounding the music could be. 

I love that analogy so much. Especially for them and for their story. They both wanted to incorporate music throughout the day and did so in such moving ways. Rather than a first dance they decided to offer a first song to their guests. As they took the stage the room got quite and their harmonies filled the space with their love for each other. They followed with songs dedicated to each of their parents for all the support and encouragement they've been given and finally they joined a group of their closest band friends to get everyone on their feet.

You guys! I had the best time with you this weekend! (It didn't hurt that practically all your friends are also my friends and three or my former couples were also there celebrating with you, but that's beside the point) ;) I hope the mountains are treating you well and can't wait to see you when you get back! 

Vendors:

Photography: Cynthia Viola

Ceremony and Reception Venue: Lifepointe Church, North Raleigh

Bride's Dress & Bridesmaids' Dresses: David's Bridal 

Groom's and Groomsmens' Attire: Belk

Rings: Johnson's Jeweler's of Raleigh

Coordinator & Florals: Dave Duty

Hair and Makeup: Rebecca Ledbetter

Band: Scott Gratton, Ryan Hughes, Douug Upton, Stephen Wesner, Tad Akers, David White

Officiant: Joel Close

Cake: Joyce Ledbetter

Catering: Milton's Pizza 

Photobooth: Laugh Out Loud Photobooth 

Invitations: David's Bridal

Wedding Day Moments

“The moment in between what you once were, and who you are now becoming, is where the dance of life really takes place.”

— Barbara de Angelis

Formal portraits and semi-posed smiles are certainly a vital part of any wedding day, but some of my favorites moments are the ones that fall in between. There's life to be found there. 

It's easy to gauge each milestone marker in our lives with the big events: birthdays, weddings, new puppies, births, new jobs, new cities, even concerts and other bucket list items. I like to think of those as the formal portraits and semi-posed smiles that represent each step in our lives. 

But it's the in between moments that are pure gold. The small victories when we choose kindness over impatience. When we stay up late with our spouse because they need comfort more than we need sleep. When a knowing smile is all it takes for two souls to burst into laughter and a gentle touch to bring on the flood gates that wash away the pain. 

Sometimes the camera settings are not perfect and the composition not exactly artistic, but it's the captured moments that arrive for a second and are gone just as fast, the moments that cannot be re-posed that make the day real and move the story forward. 

From epic toasts to subtle adjustments to brothers in the military calling in because they couldn't be there, I live for these moments in my own life and yours.  

Preparing for Your Engagement Session

“Love doesn’t make the world go ‘round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile”

— Franklin P. Jones

The first thing to remember as you arrive for your engagement session is that this is supposed to be fun! We'll have plenty of pressure from timelines and schedules on the wedding day, no need to be stressed now. These sessions usually take anywhere from 1-2 hours depending on how far we walk around and how many outfits you have etc. But if we knock it out in 45 minutes that's totally fine, if we need an extra 30 it's totally fine. Just be prepared to roll with it. 

This is our chance to get to know each other well before the big day so that we're both comfortable when we do have the time crunch. Feel free to ask as many questions as you like and know that I'll do the same. When you learn how I work and the types of poses I'm likely to move you into, it'll make you a pro on the wedding day. It also gives me a chance to see how you two interact together. If you don't enjoy kissing in public, or prefer not to sit on the ground, it's better for me to find out at this session rather than when I ask you to do so on the big day. :)

1. When to plan your session. Time of year is totally up to you, though, if you book your wedding out far enough, a lot of couples like to choose the opposite season of their big day. If you have a fall wedding then a spring engagement etc. Regardless of what month you choose, we will always, only shoot at either sunrise or about 2 hours before sunset. This ensures golden light that will make all your images dreamy and romantic. 

2. Outfits: Most couples choose 2 outfits, one casual to start and one dressier as you get more comfortable with the whole flow of the session. Once you've gotten used to the idea of a camera in your face, you'll warm up to the more romantic poses. That said, if you prefer one outfit or three, I'm perfectly ok with that. You can see my post HERE to see ways to coordinate them.

3. Location. I always recommend choosing a location that is important to you if possible. A family farm offers legacy, the place where you actually got engaged or had your first date can be a great way to capture that memory, or just a place that you find beautiful can ensure beautiful backdrops for when you print them for your home. If you can't think of any places like that, or you're not from the area where we'll be shooting, have no fear, I have a long list of places that are wonderful and I'm happy to check out a spot in advance if I'm unfamiliar with it.

4. Trust me. I certainly do not expect you to be a professional model. I will guide you when you need it and give you the freedom to be yourselves as often as you let me. I have hundreds of posing ideas floating around up there and am perfectly happy guiding you into them, I also really love letting you interact in your way. It always takes about 15-20 minutes to warm up to the idea of making out in a public space so we'll work up to it slowly and have some fun along the way. I'll never make you do something you're uncomfortable with. 

5. Drink ALL the water. Think a gallon a day every day for a week leading up to it. (and then every day after that for the rest of your life) ;) It's not only healthy, but for the purposes of the shoot, it will get rid of dark circles under your eyes. 

6. Prepare your fiance'. Sometimes one person is really excited about the photography portion of the wedding, and the other is well, not so much. They may be planning to show up, smile at the camera standing in 2 or 3 locations and then calling it a day. If they aren't prepared when I tell you to snuggle or nuzzle, they may not know how to respond. I recommend choosing your top 3-5 favorite images on my site or blog and showing your fiance' so you're both on the same page when you arrive. If you're going to err on one side or another, over communication is usually a good bet. (Feel free to use that one as a general marriage tip as well...you're welcome) ;) 

It can also be fun to practice some of the snuggling and flirting in advance... just sayin ;)

7. Ring, Hair and Make Up. Some ladies like to take this opportunity to get their hair and/or make up trial arranged with their stylists so they can see what they'll look like on the big day as well as taking the pressure off of preparations for the engagement session. Certainly not a necessity, but if you're having a trial anyway, this is a good time to do it. (This or the bridal session if you choose to add one). There will definitely be photos of the ring, so it's a good time to get it shined up as well. 

And just for fun, here's a few couples showing off their snuggling and flirting skills both at their engagement and their big day. Have fun!

Try Not to Get Lost in the Details

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do rather than the ones you did”

— Mark Twain

Beech Mountain Club

I see it over and over again: the build up.

At the wedding rehearsal there's always something that starts the break down. Maybe a favorite out of town guest has phoned in to say they're not going to be able to make it or the flower girl gets a stomach bug. The first note of stress appears in the couple's voices as they try to tell each other it's going to be ok. 

Then at the dinner they get more bad news: the linens have arrived one size too large for their reception tables the next day and they won't be able to change them. Guests will now have to wear a blanket in their lap as they're seated. 

As they're unloading all their bridal party gifts, she remembers she left one of them sitting at home on the table... now they have to decide if they're going to leave someone out tonight or give all the gifts in the morning. They disagree. Their voices raise another degree. 

I arrive the next morning ready to greet the beautiful bride and I see dark circles under her eyes. Oh no. She didn't sleep well because the hotel neighbors threw a party into the wee hours of the morning. She's now stressed from the rehearsal and sleep deprived (not to mention worried those circles are going to show in photos for the rest of her life).

When her mom enters the room to tell her the rain forecast just got pushed to the exact time of the ceremony I see a tear well up in her eye as she looks out the window and tries to hold it together. She's not mad at her mom, it's obviously not her fault, but she fusses at her anyway then immediately regrets it - causing another tear to trickle down her face. 

Just when she thinks she's going to be able to hold it together, her wedding director phones to say the caterer misunderstood their order and brought cheap plastic plates instead of the beautiful crystal she'd paid for. Cue the downpour. 

When you spend countless hours planning the perfect day and have an extraordinary vision; it can be devastating to watch it all unravel.

The last thing you want to be is a bridezilla and you know that nothing in particular is anyone's fault but you're so overwhelmed with details and sick and tired of making decisions all you can do is cry it out - or take it out on someone else. 

I see you. I hear you. 

I am here to remind you that your love is the only thing that matters today. People might have to eat on plastic plates, but they'll be doing so in celebration of you. You might get a little wet, but only because you're dancing in the rain celebrating the grandness of it all.

I promise, no matter how perfectly your details fall into place, no one will remember them outside of photos. What they'll remember is how you looked at each other with that shy smile, how you took time to come hug them and introduce them to your love during the reception, how you got choked up (and so did they) as you stated your vows before God and everyone.

I know your details are important to you and you simply want the day to be perfect, but trust me - just focus on living in the present and loving the people around you and the details will take care of themselves. And don't worry about the memories, I'll take care of those. 

Daniel Boone Native Gardens

Why You Shouldn't Anticipate Their Reaction

“Love has nothing to do with what you’re expecting to get – only what you’re expecting to give – which is everything”

— Katharine Hepburn

The Oaks at Salem

It's not uncommon for a mom or perhaps a bridesmaid, even an officiant to pull me aside before the ceremony or first look begins and say, "Now make sure you get his reaction, I just know he is going to lose it!" I, of course, assure them I will do my best and that the moment is just going to be perfect. 

While this sentiment is meant as excitement for the couple, and nerves just make people say things because they've heard others say them; I've found in practice that it sets up both the couple and those who love them for failure or disappointment. 

If you expect your love to cry and they don't, or drop to their knees and they don't, or do a happy dance and they don't, it immediately makes you wonder if maybe you're not dazzling enough. Maybe he doesn't like the dress you chose, or she thinks your hair looks funny. Maybe they're just ready to get this part over with so they can get to the party. Maybe they're getting cold feet. In reality, maybe your love is just not a crier. Maybe instead you've rendered them speechless and all they can do is take you in. 

Milligan College

Might I suggest instead to have no expectations, only love.

Rather than worrying about how they're going to respond to you, focus instead on taking them in, fully. Notice the way her curls fall across her face (her stylist put in a lot of work to make that happen you know), notice that he put on your favorite cologne and breath in deeply, notice the shy look on her face as she twirls (she's a little nervous you won't like her dress), notice how he fidgets with his watch and sways back and forth (he's a nervous too, this feels like a first date after all).

When you commit to just living fully in the moment and allowing your love and your family and friends do the same, I promise the day will be more fulfilling, more surprising, more memorable. You be you and let them be them.

Live in the present and let me capture the memories. 

Carol's Garden Inn

Annnnnnnnd the same theory applies to the proposal of course... 

Roan Mountain

And one more...can't resist. :)

The Inn at Crestwood

Dreamy, Adventurous, Joyful

“I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I needed to be.”

— Douglas Adams

Moses Cone, Blowing Rock

I have often been asked how I would describe my photography and honestly, in eight years it has probably evolved more than I have. From the type of sessions I choose to take, to the locations and time of day, to the types of filters (or lack thereof), from Photoshop to Lightroom and back again.

Taking a bird's eye view of my entire collection however, I have noticed a pattern and would like to move forward more intentionally in this way. I would love for all of my images to represent one or all of the following: dreamy, adventurous and joyful. 

Durham, NC

Dreamy says to me: "I've finally found the one my heart loves and I'm ready to embark on this journey."

Adventurous brings out my inner child. I grew up in the mountains exploring hidden creeks for crawdads, four wheeling as a teen, and mountain biking and snowboarding in college. I'm not sure I could name anything I won't try at least once so I love it when photo sessions take me into new territories. Many of those territories have taught me not to go back (architecture photography for example...see my friend Sterling for that) but failures only take you one step closer to success. Many new territories, like the forest above, are everything I hope for and more.

Joyful says "There is no where else I'd rather be than right here, in this moment, with these people." It says, "For just a moment I forgot about the paper due Monday, or the laundry piling up, or the cancer, and I remembered to live."

May my life's work tell a story that brings out the good in people. A story that reminds us we are all human - the same - living one moment at a time.

Fearrington Inn, Pittsboro, NC

What do you hope for in your life's work? I'd love to hear your story.